Stan leaves Francine at home to go out with the boys, but guys' night out goes from wild to reckless when Stan finds himself in one compromising situation after another. Meanwhile, Roger and Hayley use their charm and looks to attract a frat boy.

Neighbors Terry and Greg are nervous when Terry's father, football great Tank Bates, announces that he will be coming to town for a visit. Terry is worried because his dad doesn't know he's gay, has a baby or lives with his partner. Meanwhile, Steve goes on a drunken bender and learns the meaning of the phrase beer goggles.

Stan has had enough of Roger's antics! When he calls Roger out, Roger claims he has been sent to Earth to determine the fate of mankind. Stan challenges him to prove it, and is tickled pink when he learns Roger's real purpose for being on Earth. Roger struggles to get a grip on reality until a fateful turn of events helps put things in perspective.

Steve joins a junior football team to make Stan proud. However, when a hyper-competitive Stan assumes the position of head coach, Steve gets kicked off the team for not being good enough. Out for revenge, Steve and Roger recruit a new team of misfits who threaten Stan's perfect season. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley compete for a blue ribbon at the Langley County Fair.

Stan is excited about finally building his dream car: a DeLorean. Francine encourages him to include Steve, so the two take a road trip in search of doors for the sports car. The trip veers off-track when there is a mad dash across the country to get the last set of doors available.

When Stan gets kidnapped in Colombia, Francine fears he's gone for good. Stan finally reappears unharmed, but the real trouble erupts in the Smith household when he admits that he has a plan to marry his dentist if Francine dies before him. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger play detective duo "Wheels and the Legman."

Steve and the gang sabotage a stuck-up kid's bar mitzvah after he hits on Steve's girlfriend, Debbie. But when Snot gets wrongly accused of stealing the kid's bar mitzvah money, he must answer to the Rabbi and his own celebration is in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine pitch a cell phone idea to Verizon, but the plan gets fuzzy when they can't deliver the goods.

Steve signs Stan up for a father-son bike tournament, but the plan veers off-track when Stan admits that his father never taught him how to ride a bike. Determined to make things better, Steve helps reconcile Stan with his convict father. Meanwhile, Hayley needs internship credit for school, so Roger hires her to bartend at his makeshift bar in the attic.

When Stan forgets to pick up grenadine at the grocery store, Roger goes ballistic and vows to get him back by taking over a project close to Stan's heart - the Homeowner's Association. When Roy Rogers McFreely is appointed chairman of the association and starts to abuse his power, Stan, Hayley and Steve lead the opposition to preserve the small town's "American" values and take the community back from "the man."

When Langley Falls implements a ban on trans fats, Stan finds himself legally separated from his favorite foods. He sets a poor example for the rest of the family when he blatantly disregards the law by crossing county lines and using Steve as a trans-fatty food mule to satisfy his own gluttonous desires.

When the Smiths try to plan a family game night, Roger is full of excuses about prior commitments. However, when he is caught in a lie, the Smiths feel stabbed in the back when they realize Roger has been cheating on them with other families. Stan, Francine, Hayley and Steve go on the offensive to teach Roger a lesson about monogamy until Roger has a breakthrough about why he isn't a one family kind-of-guy.

Stan is ecstatic when a co-worker gives him pills that allow him to stay up all night but feel like he slept for eight hours.

When Steve suffers indignities in school because of the back brace he must wear for his scoliosis, Stan confides in him that he wears a wig to cover his baldness. Meanwhile, Roger invites both Francine and Hayley to a posh spa even though he has only two passes, so he sneaks in Hayley in a suitcase, raising the suspicions of the house detective.

When the CIA's budget gets cut, Roger suggests that Stan hold a telethon to raise funds. When Stan takes credit for the brilliant idea, Roger does everything in his power to sabotage it.

Hayley breaks up with her boyfriend and ends up in the arms of Stan's body double from the CIA, but things get really bizarre when the body double starts hitting on Francine.

Steve plots his revenge against all the popular girls at school who tease losers, including his ex-girlfriend Debbie.

Stan becomes jealous when he finds out Francine was once engaged to a pilot whose plane crashed. Little does she know that her lost love is still alive, but when Stan and Roger track him down, Francine is forced to choose between the two men.

When Stan becomes his boss' go-to guy, he feels like he can't say no to anything including outrageous personal requests. But when Francine gets roped into the annoying ordeal and her romantic Valentine's Day get-away is ruined, she lays down the law and forces Stan to say "NO".

When Roger discovers that someone has maxed out his credit card, he is certain it is identify theft and is determined to bring down the crook. After playing "Matlock" for a few days and dishing out some street justice, he realizes things are not quite right and seem all too familiar.

The Smith family gets ready to celebrate Roger's big 1-6-double-0, but are sidetracked by Steve's horrifying announcement that he's going through puberty! With the wounds still fresh from Hayley going through "the change" in their minds, Stan and Francine use experimental medicine to try and bypass the growing pains of having another teenager with raging hormones.