An unexpected reality check dampens Jay's plans for relaxation; Phil wants to make the trip romantic for Claire; the kids get into mischief when left to their own devices.

For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.'s, sec

Claire is suspicious when Phil's father shows up for an expected visit; Manny is traumatized by a horror movie.

Luke and Manny's hot-tempered basketball coach quits during a game, causing Jay and Phil to jockey to fill the position; Mitchell takes Cameron along to meet a prospective employer.

The release of a new product Phil wants coincides with his birthday; Mitchell has a newfound desire to toughen up; Cameron gets involved in a neighbor's marital problems.

Jay and Mitchell go on their traditional father-and-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is upset when he finds out that Manny will be joining them. Cameron and Gloria spend some quality time together, with some minor incidents, while Phil a

Phil invites his high school girlfriend (Judy Greer) to the house; Jay accidentally kills Manny's pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks; overworked Mitchell stands up to his boss.

When Phil and Luke go underneath the house to see what they can find, Phil is challenged to overcome his fear of the dark. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron decide to have Lily's pediatrician over for something to eat.

Love is in the air and all the families are preparing for Valentine's Day. Claire and Phil are planning a special trip. Meanwhile, Jay decides to take Gloria to a comedy show for some entertainment. Also, Cameron and Mitchell try to help Manny out by playing Cupid.

Claire is upset to find that her friend Valerie is better than her. In the meantime Mitchell helps Gloria with legal issues and Jay had a hard time in the locker room.

Mitchell makes Jay think that Shorty, an old friend, might be gay. Jay doesn't think it's true at first, but he begins to believe it after seeing several questionable signs. Meanwhile, Manny's date gets a makeover from Gloria. Elsewhere, Claire fights with Phil's universal remote.

Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's was Luke, and Phil, who was guilty, doesn't correct her. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria argue about Jay's beloved life-sized dog butler statue. Elsewhere, Mitchell is annoyed by Cameron when he becomes more interested in the gardener's troubles than his own.

With the arrival of Javier, Manny's unreliable father, there is tension between Gloria and Jay because of Jay's reaction towards his visit. Meanwhile, Claire has to rely on a sexy fireman in order to help Phil get to the hospital, which is due to his painful kidney stones. Elsewhere, Lily is being sleep-trained by Mitchell and Cameron, which is becoming more troublesome than they expected.

The Dunphy kids are in trouble again, but this time Claire and Phil are threatening to take Christmas away. Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices into Jay's holiday traditions, but he wants to keep it his way. Meanwhile Cameron and Mitchell take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa, however this Santa isn't very jolly.

Phil and Claire throw Luke the biggest and best birthday that he could want. However, Cameron arrives as Fizbo, the clown, who triggers a chain of events that leads to someone ending up in the hospital.

Claire has had a history of giving bad gifts. So, she decides to give Phil a surprising anniversary present, which is a private performance by Izzy LaFontaine, one of their favorite musicians. However, this unexpected gift is unexpected in more than one way. Also, Cameron and Mitchell call their party-girl friend, Sal, for a night on the town.

Manny becomes interested in fencing and the whole family comes out to cheer him on. However, with Jay being so interested in Manny's success at fencing, Mitchell's old childhood wound is triggered. Meanwhile, Phil tries to see if Luke has any hidden talents of his own.

It's the first day of school for the families. With all of the kids out of the house, Phil misreads how Claire is dealing with the empty house. Jay and Gloria have a disagreement over Manny's choice of an outfit for his first day of school. Also, Mitchell and Cameron become very upset when they find out that Lily suffered her first bump to the head.

The whole family is invited for some barbeque and football at Gloria and Jay's house. However, earlier at school there was an incident between Manny and Luke, making things very awkward for Claire and Gloria. Things heat up when an offensive label is uttered.

Dede, Claire and Mitchell's mother, stops in for a surprise visit and wants to try to make up with everyone that she offended during "the incident" that she caused at Jay and Gloria's wedding. No one is eager to see her, but everything comes into play when the whole family meets at Claire's house for dinner.

Phil pushes Jay to go out with him and fly his new model plane. While Manny takes time out to play with Luke, Gloria accompanies Alex in shopping for a dress. Later on, Manny ends up having a heart-to-heart talk with his sister Claire.

As Phil helps his son in showing Claire that he can be trusted with a brand new bike, Phil turns out to be the irresponsible one when he notices a hot neighbor. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron bring Lily to their Mommy & Me class while Manny and Jay uncomfortably spend some father and son time together.

Jay has just recently married his younger, Colombian wife, Gloria, but he's having trouble keeping up with her and her son Manny. Claire is having trouble with her own family, especially with her husband Phil, who thinks he can be hip with his three kids. Also, Mitchell and his partner Cameron adopt a Vietnamese baby, Lily.