Butters is sure he's seen a vampire at school, but he can't get anyone to listen to him. His investigations lead him to think that maybe he'd be better off as a vampire. Meanwhile, the goth kids are angry and frustrated when the other kids can't tell the difference between goth and vampire kids.

When a new kid comes to town, the boys must embrace the latest fad that hits South Park Elementary or risk their status as the coolest kids in school. Stan could lose Wendy if he doesn't get involved, and Cartman would rather kill himself than join in on the fad. But when the boys realize that Butters is more popular than they are, they find that they have no choice but to give in to peer pressure.

The folks in South Park are partying in the streets after a new president is elected. But while the country is celebrating, the President-elect surprises everyone when he shows up at the White House. From the Oval Office, the new president begins to put together a team for the job facing him.

Giant guinea pigs are attacking cities all over the world. The boys have the key that will save everyone from the onslaught but they're stranded in the Andes Mountains where they find out the startling truth behind the attacks.

When an international crisis strikes, the boys discover a way to make money that seems easy and profitable. Cartman manages to convince Craig that he should help the guys with their scheme. Cartman knows Craig has what it takes to make their dream a reality.

After she threatens to beat up Cartman after school, Wendy gets in trouble. It seems that no matter how angry Wendy is, all the bets are on Cartman. Everybody knows a girl can't fight a boy and win.

It's up to Cartman to face down the Chinese while the American populace is wracked by the haunting memory of recent events.

Mr. Garrison takes the kids on an educational field trip to a living museum, Pioneer Village, where all the workers remain dedicated to staying in character. While there, Cartman makes Butters sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center located next door.

The citizens of South Park wake up one morning shocked to find the Internet is gone. Upon hearing news that there may still be Internet in California, Randy decides to pack up his family and head out West in search of Internet.

With Ms. Garrison out of the school in search of a way to be the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is given authoritah over the classroom. After doing an exemplary job as substitute, Cartman is sent to help inner-city youth.

The leader of the World Canadian Bureau takes the country into a long and painful strike, demanding "some of that Internet money" from the other Nations. The boys find themselves tasked with resolving the strike so they can see some new episodes of Terrance & Philip.

In a South Park homage to the 1981 film, "Heavy Metal", the boys try to help Kenny kick the latest drug craze that has become a hit with schoolchildren across the nation. Once Kenny cheeses, he trips into a world that he can truly enjoy..

While trying to escape her troubles in the secluded mountains near South Park, Britney Spears has a run-in with the boys. Stan and Kyle get swept up in her celebrity as well as the non-stop feeding frenzy that plagues her wherever she goes. The boys must take Britney to the North Pole when they learn the secret behind what makes her so popular.

After going in for a routine tonsillectomy, a botched transfusion leaves Cartman afflicted with an incurable disease. When he finds no comfort in his friends and family, how far will he go to find a cure?