The third grade class of South Park elementary is invited to play "My Country 'Tis of Thee" at the "4 Million Child Blow 2000" event. When he hears that it's in Arkansas, Mr. Garrison tries to get out of the trip, to avoid contact with his estranged family. After Mr. Mackey forces him to confront his problems, Mr. Garrison reunites with his parents. He tells his father that he has emotional problems because he didn't molest him as a child, giving him a poor self-image. Meanwhile, Cartman is in search of a note on the recorder that causes people to lose control of their bowels.

On the eve of the millennium, Cartman announces that he has gotten his period, and therefore has entered puberty. Actually, it was rectal bleeding resulting from a colon infection. Kenny gets his "period" too, and they plan a New Year's celebration alone. Feeling left out, Kyle lies about getting his period, and joins their "goddess" club. Stan decided to go to Dr. Mephesto for hormones, in order to speed up his development. Meanwhile, the world is focused on South Park, since Jesus resides there. To appease people's expectations of the millennium, Jesus puts on a concert in Las Vegas with Rod Stewart.

Mr. Hankey hosts a collection of ten vignettes featuring the cast of "South Park" performing Christmas songs. Included are new interpretations of classic songs, and two entirely new songs: "Christmastime In Hell" by Satan and "Merry F**king Christmas" by Mr. Garrison. One of the vignettes is a lounge act by Jesus and Santa Claus, singing songs about themselves.

South Park holds a Civil War re-enactment, and the boys are cast as the fife-and-drum corps. Cartman's percussion stylings are deemed inappropriate, so he decides to play General Robert E. Lee. Instead of losing that battle yet again, Cartman leads the Confederate players to victory , while they drink plenty of S'more Schnapps. He then leads them across the South, reclaiming the cities and forts that were lost to the Union. He finally marches them to Washington, where he demands sovereignty for the Confederacy.

An alien from the planet Marklar lands in Ethiopia, but is eaten by lions when he tries to communicate with them. Starvin' Marvin finds the abandoned ship, and goes flying into space, and back down to South Park to visit his foster parents: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. He takes them on a trip to the planet Marklar, and they find that the planet would be an ideal environment for Marvin's family and neighbors.

The kids from South Park Elementary enter a spelling bee, and lose to the only two kids in town that are home-schooled: Mark and Rebecca. After the exposure to other children, Mark asks to go to public school, where he is berated by his classmates because of his social ineptitude. Meanwhile, Kyle instructs Rebecca on the ways of love and Cartman decides to try home-schooling for himself.

The kids in South Park have fallen victim to the latest fad: Chinpokomon, a Japanese cartoon/toy line/video game. The adults are concerned about the odd behavior of the children, who have started speaking in Japanese and resembling anime characters. It is soon discovered that Chinpokomon is actually a ploy by the Japanese to overthrow the American government with a loyal horde of brainwashed child-soldiers. To avoid fighting a war against Japan and their own children the adults set out to stop them.

It's Halloween in South Park again, and all is not well. Father Maxi denounces the holiday as evil, and expresses his disgust in inviting the band Korn to perform, which could only compound the evil that day. Korn and the rest of South Park start seeing pirate ghosts (or are they ghost pirates?) around the pier, making the concert a distinct impossibility. With the help of their space chicken friend, Niblet, Korn set's out to foil the ghosts evil scheme.

This is the third episode in a series that follows each boy individually on the same night.

This is the second episode in a series that follows each boy individually on the same night.

This is the first episode in a series that follows each boy individually on the same night.

Mr. Garrison invites the Sexual Harassment Panda to his class to tell them about the laws concerning sexual harassment in school. During the presentation, Stan calls Cartman a dirty name with sexual connotations, prompting Cartman to sue him. This turns the town into a hotbed of lawsuits, all being handled by Mr. Broflovski.

While the boys are in shop class, they decide to get Tweek and Craig to fight each other. Meanwhile, Kenny avoids the whole mess by taking Home Economics instead. The boys schedule the fight for after school, so that it isn't disrupted by the shop teacher (Mr. Adler), who is still mourning the tragic death of his former fiancee. Tweek and Craig, it turns out, do not know how to fight. The boys take Tweek and Craig under their wing to train them for the big fight.

Cartman finds a strange, yet annoying, creature in the woods. The boys get Jimbo and Ned to capture it, and they show it to the rest of South Park. It is determined that it is a Jakovasaur -- a species long thought to be extinct. The creature's mate arrives and Mephesto helps them reproduce, creating a multitude of little, annoying, loud creatures. Everybody in South Park, except Cartman, despises the creatures and go to various lengths to get rid of them.

Chef has a new woman enter his life, and he no longer has much time to spend with the boys. He then decides to marry her and get a new job, leaving the school cafeteria to be run by other employees of South Park Elementary. The boys soon discover that the soon-to-be Mrs. Chef is actually an evil Succubus that intends to devour Chef's soul once they get married and set out to stop her.

Kenny spontaneously combusts. The mayor asks Randy Marsh to find a solution. The boys try to help Kyle's dad to get an erection. One way they think they can help is by performing the Stations of the Cross at church crucifying Cartman and waiting three days for his res-erection. Randy Marsh figures out the reason everyone is combusting is because they are withholding their farts.

A choir group, "Getting Gay With Kids," visits South Park to recruit more kids for their upcoming concert in Costa Rica for the benefit of the rain forests. The boys are forced to join by Mr. Mackey as a punishment for their unruly behavior in class. In Costa Rica, they leave the "comfort" of the capital to take a tour of a nearby rain forest. Their guide is eventually devoured by a snake, and they become stranded.